Tiny’s First Ultrasound!

Everything looks perfect! The doc said everthing looks right on schedule! I am so relieved! And yes, there’s just one little guy in there! I was pretty surprised honestly… I guess I’m just “pudgy”. I have a good excuse though, they say the more pregnancies you go through, the quicker you start showing. I will post a belly pic soon

Ok, I need to bitch about something now. The reason our baby’s ultrasound pic *ahem* sucks, is because this is a pic from the abdominal ultrasound that my doc was nice enough to perform in his office. The evil bitch who did my transvaginal ultrasound across the street was able to see soooo much more, but she refused to even let me see the screen, much less give me a picture. GRRRRRR

She pissed me off so bad. When she started, she acted like she would show the baby when she was done with the measurements. But the little skank lied. I would’ve had a nervous breakdown if DH hadn’t loomed over me the whole time watching everything for me. He knows what is supposed to “be there” at this stage, and he said everything looked great. I was only 5 wks and 1 day, so we saw exactly what we expected to see, the gestational sac, the yolk sac, and the itty baby. It was too early to see the heartbeat (we didn’t see Nathan’s till 5 wks 6days, and even then the ultrasound tech acted like it was uncommon to see it that early.)

It just made me so furious! I was a nervous wreck because of that lady! I mean seriously, why the heck can’t she let me see MY UTERUS!!!!!! I know the techs are technically not supposed to tell you ANYTHING, but what pissed me off is that they ALWAYS blab the whole time when they see the baby kicking around in there. Not saying anything is just there way of copping out of giving bad, or “so so” news. We knew this tech was a total idiot, the last time I was pregnant the radiologist told us she diganosed things wrong on the ultrasound.

She acted shocked that i was even getting an ultrasound that early. I thought it was wierd that as a tech, she doesn’t know that women with prior losses need extra monitoring. So I had to sit there and give her my depressing medical history so she would understand why I needed the ultrasound that MY DOCTOR ORDERED. lol

I’m so glad my hubby was there. We took Nathan, he was pretty intrigued with the whole process. Someday he’ll be totally grossed out if he finds out he was in the room for mommy va-ga-ga sonogram lol

I am so happy our little bean is doing so well, I have another ultrasound scheduled in two weeks. We will see SOOOO much more then, they grow so fast! Until then, we are going on vacation to the Ozark Mountains. We leave Sunday, and I am so excited! It’ll help the time fly by until we can see our little guy again!

Officially 5 Weeks!

A 5 Week Old Embryo

This is what our little one looks like at this point. Isn’t it amazing!?!

It’s tiny heart has already started to beat, even though it’s only as big as a sesame seed. I just love the little eyes and hands, I can’t wait to meet this little baby

I’m so ready for my sonogram tomorrow. It’s going to be a transvag, so we should get a pretty good look at what’s going on in there. Every thing I’m reading says not to expect to see the heartbeat yet, because I will be only 5 wks and 1 day. We saw Nathan’s at 5 wks 6 days, and the tech thought it was miraculous to see it that early!

We should be able to see the “fetal pole” or MY BABY, as i call it lol. I hate when docs use such inhuman words to describe our babies. We should also see the yolk sac, which is what is feeding our little guy.

I’m still going to be really shocked if there’s just one little bean in there, but I will be totally happy as long as we get at least 1 healthy baby!

Keep us in your prayers tomorrow at 3:45!

Almost 5 weeks!

In 1 hour and 40 minutes I will officially be 5 weeks pregnant! I am so happy! I have had NO spotting, and my hcg levels are awesome! I am kinda surprised, because I’m already experiencing round ligament pains. I’ve never had them this early, so that’s kind of wierd. I’ve also had HORRIBLE morning sickness, and I’m absolutely exhausted. I’m usually such a night owl, but I’ve been taking 2 hour naps every day and going to bed crazy early. My husband is so awesome, he really helps me out when I’m pregnant. He is so excited about this baby.

The first day we found out, he took me to the store because he wanted to buy something for the baby. So we bought a candle and tied pink and blue ribbon around it. He also bought a book for the baby, and he reads to my tummy at night.

It’s so neat being pregnant again. We have this little nighttime routine where I give Nathan his “bedtime kissies”…. and now he also kisses my tummy before he goes to bed. It is so sweet.

I am really going to be SHOCKED if there are not 2 babies in there! I feel really different this time… the round ligament pain, and I’m already peeing ALOT, like 3-4 times a night. I either have twins, or my poor uterus is just stretched from being pregnant so many times.

My sono is the day after tomorrow, and i can hardly wait! I am dying to see my little baby (or babies!) Please pray that everything looks good!

HCG Results are in…..

And it’s looking good! Here’s the breakdown…

Friday, Oct. 17th. 11am – HCG 11.6 (yes, I know, it’s crazy early)

Monday, Oct. 20th, 11am – HCG 102.3!!!! WOW!

For those who don’t know how it works, hcg levels are what the baby secretes into the mothers body. They are expected to DOUBLE every 48-72 hours in a normal pregnancy. Well, according to that standard, on Monday morning they were expected to be somewhere around 34ish. So mine are way high!

I am so happy. I am secretly hoping that there are two little guys in there, but that’s hard to know without an ultrasound. Although high hcg levels are a good sign!

Even if there is just one little guy in there, he (or she) must be doing pretty darn good!

My doctor scheduled my first ultrasound for next Tuesday, the 28th. They aren’t really expecting to see a heartbeat that early, we are just going to be checking for a gestational sack. (or sacks lol)

I am really surprised at how quickly my symptoms are appearing this time. I’ve been pretty nauseous around midday, extremely exhausted, and have the need to pee constantly. I’ve been up 3-4 times a night! I’m really surprised that I’m already at this stage…. it’s really wierd. Even if I didn’t have a positive test, I would seriously know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am pregnant.

On another note, DH and I always have our vacation around our anniversary each year (Nov.5th) This year, we have been holding off our plans until we knew if I was pregnant or not. We were planning on going to the Rocky Mountains in Colorado, but my doctor said absolutely no traveling above 2,000 feet. So we decided on Eureka Springs in the Ozarks. It’s at 1,300 ft. which doc is totally comfortable with. It is going to be so awesome! We are going to be staying in a log cabin with a 20 mile view of the mountains from the living room and front porch. It is so beautiful! I am so excited

It will be nice going on vacation as a family with our big baby and our little baby(ies).

*~*Sticky Dust~*~

Just an update to let everyone know that our little bean seems to be doing pretty well. I have had absolutely no spotting *crosses fingers*, and my test lines are continuing to grow darker each day. (Yes, I’m still poas lol)

I went to the doc on Friday, had a quantitave hcg drawn. I go back tomorrow (monday) for my second draw. My doc said that we should be able to see something with the transvag-ultrasound by 4 and a half weeks. I am officially 4 weeks today, so I’m pretty excited. I know we won’t be able to see much in there, but it’s still exciting!

I will repost later to let everyone know what my levels were. I’m honestly not too worried because of how dark my lines are getting.

THANK YOU GOD!!!!!

IT’S A BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s been about 24 hours since I found out, and it’s just now really starting to sink in! I am so happy, I really can not believe that the clomid worked so well for us! I almost feel bad, because I know so many people who have been on it FOREVER. We have had a very hard time getting a baby here too though. Now comes the scary part, making my bean stick.

I went to have all my labs drawn today. Of course, we won’t know anything till monday, but that’s cool. My doc has me starting the lovenox injections *fun*. I don’t care what it takes though, as long as  get a healthy baby.

For those who are curious, I got my BFP at 9 dpo. I took the test at 4am, because I couldn’t sleep and I just KNEW I had to be pregnant. It was so faint, at first I didn’t believe it. So I took another one about 6 hours later, and voila! Definitely positive

It sucked because when I found out at 4am, I had to just go back to bed and pretend nothing was up so DH wouldn’t catch on. I wanted to tell him in a cute way. So I had to hold it inside ALL DAY!!!!!!!!!!

When DH got home from work, I had taped a sign that said “I’m the Big Brother” on Nathan’s baseball cap. He was so excited! He took me out to a nice restaurant tonight to celebrate.

We are so anxious to be able to see & hear “tiny thomas”. I own a $400 dopler, so it will be alot easier not to worry when I can hear the heartbeat. It’s a really good one, it can pick up the heartbeat by 8 weeks. We have been through so much, I would’ve lost my mind when I was pregnant with Nathan if I hadn’t had that thing.

On another note….

Despite our good news, I had a very sad day today. I’m an area cooridinator and photographer for an organization called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep . We provide free Heirloom Photography for babies who have passed away, or are very near to it. I see alot of sad things, ranging from stillbirth, to prematurity, to birth defects. For anyone who finds this morbid, please understand that these pictures are all these families will have left of their poor babies when they are gone. I became a volunteer because I have had the own agonizing experience of wanting pictures of my angel babies, and wanting something beautiful, that truly captured how much they touched our lives. We also provide free Potraiture (editing) for our photos. Words cannot describe the look in a mothers eyes when she is finally able to see an image of her child free of the bitter marks which death leaves.

Anyway, I got a call about a newborn boy 2 hours away who needed a photographer. I was so blessed to share an hour of his life with him and his family, he lived for far longer than he was expected, almost a full 8 hours after his birth. He was precious. It amazes me how much of an effect “touch” has on these babies. He would begin to lose his color and he would wimper, but if you cradled him or gently stroked his tiny arm, he would immediately “pink up” again. Saying goodbye was so hard. I held him and asked him to say hello to my babies for me.

A couple hours later, his Aunt called to tell me he was gone. He had passed away silently, nestled against his mother’s heart.

Even though I knew it was inevitable, it still hit me really hard. I guess being pregnant adds a whole new element to this, because as a mother it is hard to witness one’s worst nightmare.

But it is so worth it. I wouldn’t stop doing this for anything in the world. It is the most meaningful thing I have ever accomplished in life outside of being a wife and mother.

Well, there you have it. Tears of Joy and Tears of Heartache. All in the same day.

To find our more about NILMDTS, or to read about how one baby started it all, please visit www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org .

Drumrole Please!

My Beautiful Family

 For those of you who are curious as to what me and my family look like…… tada!

This is a picture of all of us as a birthday party, it was little Nathan’s first ever time on a horsey!

This pic is kinda old, I think this was back in March or April. I don’t have many of the current ”fancy” family pics uploaded on the computer. Hmmmm, I guess I had better change that.

We’re a pretty good-lookin bunch though, right?!?

Pee-Stick Update

Well, so far it’s still BFN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m trying to keep my head up, it’s still too early to call this one. Based on the first  positive O stick, I’m 11dpo, but based on the second positive test, I’m only 9dpo. I am soooo anxious, I just HAVE to be pregnant. I feel to funky to not be!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess we shall see. I guess the sooner I get in bed, the sooner I can pee on another stick in the morning.

I will keep everyone posted.

Pretty pleeeeease God, give me two lines!

So as of today, I am 9 dpo based on my first positive opk. I’m 7dpo based on the second pos opk. Yes, I know. It’s ridiculously confusing.

I must admit, I have been testing already. Yes, I know it is ridiculously early. I’m just DYING to see two lines! Anyways, I’m getting down to the wire now. My earliest ever BFP was with my living son Nathaniel. I got a ridiculously faint positive at 7dpo… so faint that I didn’t believe it was real. But sure enough, the next morning, it was definitely there!

The latest I have ever tested positive was at 12dpo. What  drives me crazy, is when people doubt early positives by saying crap like, “oh, well you must have just ovulated earlier”. I will proudly stand up for all “early testers” out there by saying, THIS IS ABSOLUTE CRAP!!!!

I, like most people ttc, time sex and ovulation. So if these “doubters” theories were true, my eggs would have shriveled up and died by the time I did the deed.

Now I will also say that, I have known soooo many women who haven’t gotten BFP’s until 14dpo, 16dpo, or even later! So I guess the moral of the story is….

It’s not over until Aunt Flo rears her ugly head!

I am so confident that this cycle is going well, I am just scared to jinx it by saying it out loud! lol

Symptoms today:

• VEEERRRYYY crampy since last night, got progressively worse this evening… very similar to AF cramps
• Threw up today. (ok, I know there are tons of people out there who will say that morning sickness this early is impossible, but I swear that I’m like allergic to babies or something. I always get MS before 6 weeks. I told hubby that I am so miserable, I either have e-coli or I’m pregnant lol)
• I’m exhausted
• I spotted two days ago, and today

Ok, I realize that I’m still super early, and that all of these symptoms can be attributed to the truckload of meds I’m on (progesterone, parlodel, clomid, ect…) But it can’t hurt to stay positive, right?

Please pray that this cycle gives us a stick bean…or two, or three! lol

I’m just so tired of the ttc part, I’m just really ready to be pregnant again. I miss those first little flutters (which quickly turn into humongous kicks!) I miss seeing hubby talk to my belly and seeing the baby react to it. I miss knowing that I have another life inside of me. *sighs*

Bring on the babydust!

Rough Day

Well, last night, I managed to step on a gigantic piece of glass while chasing my 14month old son. This is the wierd part, neither dh or I have broken ANYTHING in months. On top of that, this huge piece of glass was laying right smack-dab in the middle of my kitchen.

Seriously, what the heck?!? It’s like something is out to get me. I shudder to think if it had been poor little Nathan who “found” it. Especially since he puts everything shiny in his mouth. *shudders*

My mom offered to lend me her crutches… but those require arm strength, which I have none of. lol

As far as ttc symtoms go…

Same a yesterday, achy feeling in uterus… it’s way too early to be feeling AF cramps, so I’m hoping this is a “sign”. Everything, and I mean everything, has made me cry today. Poor dh had to hug me when he got home. I HATE feeling like an emotional weepy person. I think it’s most likely the clomid. It’s so wierd how such a tiny pill can mess you up so bad.

I had better get a baby out of this.