22 Weeks Pregnant & Scared to Death

The last few weeks have been pretty stressful and crazy. Everything had been going pretty well, the progesterone injections were keepig my contractions at a minimum. But things have been kinda gone downhill this week.

On Sunday night, I lost my plug (For those who know what that is, cool. For those who don’t, it’s probably better that I not tell you) The point is, at 22 weeks, that’s not a good thing.

I went in to see the dr. Monday morning. I han’t been feeling any “contractions”, I just felt really achy and sore. When he checked me, I was between 1 & 2 cm dialted. Apparently I was contracting on some level, and on top of that, I had an infection. He gave me antibiotics for the infection, and told me to stay in bed and come back the next day to see if the bedrest was helping. If not then I was headed to the hospital.

So I went back the next day (yesterday) and I was only a fingertip dialted, which is better. So it seemed like the bedrest and antibiotics were helping. I still feel achy & sore, so I’m supposed to continue the bedrest. If anything changes then I am supposed to go to the hospital.

I’m a total wreck, I’m so scared for Emily. At 22 weeks, the odds of survival are not great. There are miracles that happen, but I don’t want Emily to have to go through this. My dr. offered us steriods to develop her lungs faster… but still.

She’s just so tiny.

He also gave me a supplement that a study in Finland showed to stall labor by as much as 5-6 days. Our little girl needs as long as she can get… please, please, pray that she gets MUCH longer. I cannot imagine not bringing her home.

On top of all of this, Walter has 2 herniated discs and spinal stenosis (the nerve canal in his spine is being pinched), so he’s in agony. Being put on bedrest could not have come at a worse time. Lifting Nathan is simply not an option for either one of us. We have no family around here who are willing to help with Nathan, and all our friends work during the week. Walter can take FMLA and stay home to help me, but that will only protect him from losing his job, it won’t pay him. So that’s not an option either.

I’m just so thankful that God blessed me wih such a well behaved little boy. If he was like most kids, there would be no way for me to pull this off. I keep telling him that mommy will be able to play again soon… but I have to get sissy here safely first.

She’s the most important thing right now. We are just so close.